Whether pregnant, adopting or well into the parenting ride, people are wired to connect and to help. They want to share.
Even if meant well, it can add to confusion, insecurity and doubt as a parent. This is normal and ok to feel.
Especially if you are struggling with a sensitive child, it often tugs on people around you to want to take action and do something.
This can be received as helpful (as in give me a moment’s break so I can cry for a moment and my child will be tended by someone who loves them). It can also feel judgmental and have a tone of “what you are doing isn’t right but do it my way instead.”
There is no right way. There is your way.
When you doubt your way or are developing that muscle, the insecurity that creeps in and resulting confusion can make things worse.
So what do we do about that?
The main thing is to surrender and know that parenting isn’t easy. You don’t have to get “it right” all of the time.
It’s about being real and making connection from there. In parenting, we need to be the parents, yes. That doesn’t mean we pretend to have it all together.
This is where real connection happens. With our kids, as parents, with each other.
If you are reading this and feeling unsure as a parent, maybe this real life example that happened to me this last week can help you too.
While in the grocery store, I met Sean (name changed), dad of 2 boys. He shared about his bit “of the crazy” and trying to know what to do alongside of weighing what his dad (who lives with them) says to do.
The conversation led to other aspects of parenting like technology and him feeling like others don’t have the same struggles (in how they appeared on FB).
In the brief moments in line together, I suggested that sharing the “behind the scenes” actually brings people together. Each child is different and no one feels like they have “got it” all the time and most people don’t put the struggles on their FB feed.
He literally took a deep, relieved breath at the acknowledgement. His felt better with just hearing that sharing the real stories is where we can change in positive and meaningful ways.
Haven’t we all been there? You just want to be told it will be ok, you are doing a GOOD job, and that even if you made a mistake, that repair is possible!
Even with the challenges Sean expressed, you, too, can still feel moments of relief while working on dealing with the challenges.
That is what I love about working with parents just like you.
We are real.
We still have laughs and fun while making necessary changes.
We change from the inside out – knowing there will always be fear, insecurity, doubt, etc… but the emotions can exist alongside of your empowered journey as a parent.
So let’s do it! Know you aren’t alone and that together we will help quiet down the insecurity and doubt that makes it confusing to act.
Contact me for a free session to learn more about your unique child and family.
I’m also booking talks for 2020 and would love to come to you! Gather a group of fellow parents, ask about my coming to your child’s school, or your business with other parents who work with you!
I have two signature talks that might be a great fit:
“Parenting Struggling (but Gifted!) Children: 4 Ways to Bring Peace in the Home When You Have Tried Everything.” It’s for Holistic Minded, Engaged Parents, like you!
“Reducing Your Child’s Screen Use in the Digital Age: How to Create Connection and Avoid Screen Addiction.” A Workshop/Playshop for Parents and their Children.