This is another BIGGIE from a number of you in response to my request for your feedback post here. Keep them coming!
Once you become a parent you wonder what you did with your time.
You may find yourself daydreaming about “the old days” when you had time to talk to your partner, read for pleasure, brush your hair (and teeth), and even have clothes without stains!
Fast forward to now….
You KNOW you need to take care of yourself and….
You feel challenged with time constraints, multi-tasking, little or no caretakers (or perhaps they are capable and loving but have a style different than yours that makes you uncomfortable).
I offer this topic since it is a year round desire and need and also is good practice in preparation for the upcoming holiday season! Why not start now?!
This topic falls within one of my 5 branches of organization. In addition to helping to create systems for your family, utilizing this for yourself (at the helm) of your home is of utmost importance.
So what do you do?
Questions along these lines come up daily (with myself and those I speak with)!
We are taught to keep going, be productive and have growing “to do” lists for kids of all ages, not to mention for work, home and yeah….FUN!
The first place to begin is in your mindset. This is why I also talk about this in my main signature talk.
As Einstein said “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”
Here’s my first suggestion…
Once a parent, it is imperative to remind yourself that reminiscing about the “good old days” is not keeping you present or in a state of gratitude for the now.
Here is what happened with Jody (name changed), recently struggling with poor self-care:
To begin, I asked her what she wanted in her current routine that she used to have before kids. As examples, I mentioned:
- Time to read for pleasure (instead of books about fixing your child or family)
- Time to yourself
- Connection to nature (or more time outside)
- Exercise time
- Meaningful connection with your partner (rather than talking about the schedule, chores, the kids needs, etc..)
- More time with friends
Once she got clear and chose “the what she missed”, we spoke about the importance of SCHEDULING IT!
As I’ve eluded to in past writings, breaking things down helps to simplify and create ease.
When looking at scheduling, things may come up…
The excuses…the problems….
It’s ok, totally normal. It can feel complicated and sometimes really is with juggling a family.
It could be as easy as getting a good planner (I have a great suggestion if you are interested)!
However, like Jody, it was a combination of factors. Yes for the planner and….
We took it one aspect at a time while at first, also choosing just ONE thing she wanted to schedule in (her biggest miss was time to herself to meditate or read for pleasure…anyone else?).
Making the tasks smaller adds to feelings of success WITH self-care! They work in tandem.
The more you do with this mindset, the more the time (and satisfaction) grows for you, creating the space you are wanting!
We can love and take care of ourselves while loving our kids.
We will be better parents as a result too.
We know this in theory and let’s help make this happen in actuality and practice!
Would you like to focus exclusively on changing the connection points and the relationship with technology or another key touchpoint in your home? I have a special, short-term, high-focused coaching program to help you with this. Reach out and let’s see if this is a fit for you.
Let’s do this together!
PS – Do you have a Parent Night at your school? I have two signature talks that might be perfect for your group:
“Parenting Struggling (but Gifted!) Children: 4 Ways to Bring Peace in the Home When You Have Tried Everything. It’s for Holistic Minded, Engaged Parents, like you!
“Reducing Your Child’s Screen Use in the Digital Age: How to Create Connection and Avoid Screen Addiction. A Workshop/Playshop for Parents and their Children